my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dick very happy bro
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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