i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
