Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I could fuck to npr.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
