i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
