so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i barfeds in our rink
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
