Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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