You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
