She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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