just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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