Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
