he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
