You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
