she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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