I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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