walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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