Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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