Can Purell be used as lube?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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