and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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