Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
