I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
