My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
