she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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