all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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