walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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