My sheets look like a crime scene.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
