My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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