dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pappa wants mamma naked
That's when you crack a 10am beer
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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