some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
