there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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