Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
True college students do jello shots in the library
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
