Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
