he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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