I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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