Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
