i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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