His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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