We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
