i permit you to call me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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