Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
