you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
