her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
