Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
its liver damage thursday
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