It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
