Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
