It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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