Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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