Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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