Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
