listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
