just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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