Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
