the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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