I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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