I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
