You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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