LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
