How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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